I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
