I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
