you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
