Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
