Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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