Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
