You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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