i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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