you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
