I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
