on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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