My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
