Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
