my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
