I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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