I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
