North Korea, Best Korea!
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
