if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
