Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
