she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
