Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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