So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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