So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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