the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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