if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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