So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
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Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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