so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
