Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA

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(314): View more from Missouri

I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.

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(904): View more from Florida

Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I will fight anything that is not spinning right now

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(248): View more from Michigan

Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?

(810): View more from Michigan

Yes. Highly encouraged though.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default

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