By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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