Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
