I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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