I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He passed out mid-signature
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
