look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
