Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
