Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
