I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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