i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
