I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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