forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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