ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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