My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
