You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
