That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize