I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
