so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
