Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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