Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
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Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
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You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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