Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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