I'm going to jail i love you
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
