Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
