I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
