as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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