And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
