You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
