But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize