well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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