I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
