Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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