thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
