I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
