Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
