I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
