I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
organizing the empties. That sober.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
