i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The air was thick with penises
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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