my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
