You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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