so let's talk penis.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
